


Tell Me Your Wish

by justjunhoes



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Goodbyes, Heartache, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-05 04:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjunhoes/pseuds/justjunhoes
Summary: "I'll be your genie for a day. Tell me your wish.""I wish to see you again."





	1. Chapter 1

_♪~Sowoneul malhaebwa_   
_Ne maeum soge inneun jageun kkumeul malhaeppwa_   
_Ne meorie inneun isanghyeongeul geuryeobwa~♪_

 

Bobby just sings along when music player shuffles to Genie. He looks at his closet again, still choosing what to wear. Rare occasion for him to actually think and choose his clothes today.

Like how the song goes, tell me your wish.

Junhoe is getting married tomorrow and will be moving to other country. Before Junhoe leaves the country, he told everyone that he would hang out with them at least for one whole day. Not that he would leave forever but he is afraid he doesn’t have the time to often come back to Korea to visit them.

 

_Sowoneul malhaebwa_

 

Bobby puts on his leather jacket. He doesn’t wear it often although people said he looks good in it. Leather isn’t really his style which is why it only makes its third appearance today.

He sits on the bed, looking at a bracelet in the velvet box.

“Hmmm…do you want to be with Junhoe or in this box forever?” Bobby touches the bracelet. He sighs, regretting everything.

But it is too late to regret everything. Too late. He should have listened to Donghyuk. Even if Junhoe rejects his love, at least he would not feel burdened now for unable to tell how he feels.

And now, Junhoe is in someone else’s world. A world where Bobby could not step into it, a world where Bobby could not touch it, a world where friendship could be put to a test if he interferes.

“Maybe you will stay in this box.” Bobby kisses the bracelet.

Warm tears roll down his cheeks. He suddenly feels someone touches his shoulder. Donghyuk.

“Hyung…are you okay?”

“Yea…yes…” Bobby forces a smile. “Silly me. I’m crying again huh.”

“It’s okay to cry.”

“Well it is not…especially in front of Junhoe.” He gets up, rummaging through his stuffs to find his glasses. Found it! Maybe his glasses could hide his sad eyes. “Going out…don’t wait for me.”

“Uh alright…but call me…if you are drunk or whatever…” Donghyuk watches him leaves their shared apartment.

If they are 12, Donghyuk would have teased Bobby. But they are adults and Bobby is too heartbroken to take any jokes about him missing the opportunity to confess.

 

~~~

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Junhoe smiles at Bobby. “Wheww nice weather today unlike the day I spent with Chanwoo.”

“That’s okay.” Bobby looks at him. _‘Because I’ll keep waiting for you forever…’_ “Oh! Was it that bad?”

Junhoe nods. “We ended up having movie marathon and eating pizza.” He chuckles. “But it was fun.”

Bobby’s smile never fades. Anything that comes out from Junhoe’s mouth amuses him. How he wishes he could change time.

“First stop. The wine cellar.”

“Oh you are planning to poison me first?” Junhoe jokes. He has been looking forward to spend his time for some wine tasting.

“Maybe.” Bobby laughs along.

Wine isn’t exactly Bobby’s thing but he tries. Next thing he knew, he was crying with a bottle of wine clutched tight against his chest chanting ‘Koo Junhoe’ until drowsiness put him to sleep.

He watches Junhoe’s enthusiastic chat about wine then moves on to whiskey. The chat between Junhoe and the owner sound very educational for people who enjoy drinking. The corner of his lips curve into a small smile as he admires Junhoe for the last time.

For the last time…

He holds the velvet box tightly in his hand. Maybe he could give this as parting gift or wedding gift.

“How come I never knew this place exists?”

Bobby looks at him. “Mr Kang is…just an old man. He loves the quietness which is why his shop is quite far but he delivers the bottles to big restaurants and celebs.”

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

“Hey, just tell me your wish.”

“Alright genie.” Junhoe plays along. “But would I get more than three wishes, dear genie?”

“Since you are the special one, you would get unlimited wishes.” Bobby winks at him, catching his flushed face which makes his heart thumps loud. _‘You are indeed the special one…for me…’_

“Nice!” Junhoe bites his lips. Bobby’s wink somehow shakes his heart a little bit, like always. He couldn’t lie. There are many times when Bobby’s existence makes his heart flutters.

Bobby’s eye smile, Bobby’s loud laugh, Bobby’s deep voice together with his mumbles, with how Bobby rocks any hair colour, anyone would be nervous around him.

He would totally date Bobby if he is still single.

Bobby is smooth as fuck. He either flirts with you or being nonchalant with his praises. He would stare at you and doesn’t care if you catch him staring.

_“Err…Bobby hyung…” Junhoe could feel the intense stare in Bobby’s eyes._

_“I’m just…admiring…God’s finest creature.” Bobby sighs, giving him a soft smile._

_“Shut up.” Junhoe chuckles._

Comments like that always make Junhoe forgets who he is seeing until he looks at the engagement ring. Right. Kim Hanbin.

“So, where to now Princess?”

Princess.

A nickname only he and Bobby know. Sort of.

“Hmmm let’s see…” Junhoe scrolls his phone. “Here. Ihwa Mural Village. Let’s take lots of photos together.”

“Your wish is my command, Princess.”

Junhoe blushes. He quickly looks away, not wanting Bobby to see the look on his face. Princess. How did Bobby come up with that name and why?

_“Hey, Princess.”_

_“Hmmm anything?”_

_The rest of their colleague at the table turn their attention towards the two of them who are clearly oblivious of what they had just said._

_“Princess?” Luna, their head editor, brings them back to present._

_“What?” Both Junhoe and Bobby look at her, completely puzzled._

_“Bobby…you just called Junhoe as ‘princess’.” Luna looks at them. The other colleagues nod as well._

_“Wait. I did?” Bobby blushes. “I…didn’t realize.”_

_Junhoe grins. “I…he did what…I…”_

_“Interesting nickname.” Maiah takes a sip of her beer, giving a suggestive look to the two of them._

_Both of them keep quiet the whole dinner but immediately erupt into loud laugh when they are finally alone together. Princess?_

_“Seriously, Bobby. Why Princess?”_

_“I feel like I want to take care of you, be your knight in shining armor.” Bobby smiles. ‘And because I want to make you MY princess…MY love…’ “I know you are taller and probably stronger…probably…” He chuckles. “But I feel like wanting to protect you…care for you…like a princess.”_

 

_♪~Urin friends with benefit_   
_I isanghan gwangye kkeunheo bollae hamkke_   
_Baby rago bureugo sipeo geunde andwae_   
_Neorang naneun gata silhjeungi ppareun geotdo~♪_

 

_“Ohh…” Junhoe nods. “We could be…imagine…”_

_Well, that gave Bobby hoped until Junhoe announced that he is seeing a man named Hanbin. Still, he calls Junhoe as ‘princess’ except in front of their friends and especially in front of Hanbin._

 

“Alright. Here we are. Ihwa Mural Village.”

Photos. For memories. Bobby snaps a lot of photos of Junhoe, whether when the latter asks him or secretly, he just snaps lots. He wants to look at these photos whenever he misses the man. Sucks being him now.

Junhoe would miss him but of course as just friends while he would cry to sleep alone looking at the photos.

It’s not like he never tried to stop loving Junhoe. He tries. He couldn’t.

Maybe Junhoe leaving the country could help.

“Bobby hyung. What are you pondering about?”

“Uh…uhh…whether I switched off the aircond in my room or not.” Bobby just wants to give himself a hug for able to come up with a reason. He sees Junhoe laughs at him. “Let me take your photo.”

“No. Let’s take photo together.” Junhoe puts his arm on Bobby’s shoulder as they take a selfie.

A nice lady helps to take photo of them. “You two look perfect together. Must be nice dating someone who is like a perfect match made in heaven.”

“We…we are not-” Junhoe exchanges look with Bobby who is trying not to laugh. He decides to play along. “We look perfect together huh? Thank you.”

“I wish happiness for the both of you.” She smiles at them.

“Well…we are dating now.” Bobby chuckles.

“Technically…we are dating. Today is my date with you, Mr Kim Jiwon.”

“Oh right, my princess.” Bobby holds his hand.

The soft touch sends jolts all over Junhoe’s body, like a new sensation. This isn’t the first time Bobby holds his hand but it suddenly makes him feels hot in his ears. He looks at his hand tightly grasped in Bobby’s hand. He smiles.

Junhoe would not lie. Being called ‘princess’ makes him feel so loved. Don’t get him wrong, he gets so much love from Hanbin but when Bobby calls him that, it feels different.

“Bobby…” Junhoe is surprised when he feels lips on the back of his hand.

“Sorry…I…got carried away with this whole fake dating.” Bobby lets out a dry laugh, earning a confused look on Junhoe’s face. “Let’s go…”

The car ride is silent. Typical. Bobby keeps telling himself to calm down and get a grip of himself. He reminds himself.

_“Junhoe is not mine. He’s Hanbin’s love…they are getting married…leaving you…he is not mine…not mine…”_

“Wanna go to trick eye museum? I found it online and thought it is cool.”

Junhoe’s voice wakes him up. “Sure, Junhoe. Let’s go there. Where exactly the place is?”

After a while they reach the museum. They have a great laugh there; taking photos of each other and have the staff helping them. Trick eye indeed.

“Angel’s wing.” Bobby looks at the 3D drawing. “Be my angel.” He readies his phone to take a photo.

“If I’m your angel then you are my devil?” Junhoe laughs. He poses to align with the angel’s wing.

“Yes, your devil.” Bobby takes the time to admire Junhoe’s features. Handsome is an understatement. He should be a model with that face, height and nice body.

Lucky, Hanbin is lucky. But it’s not about physical appearance that matters to Bobby. The fact that Hanbin’s love is returned and Junhoe only has his eyes on Hanbin makes him feel that Hanbin really is lucky.

Lucky. Is it called lucky or fate?

No one knew Bobby loves Junhoe to death except Donghyuk. The younger man kept encouraging Bobby to confess but he was too chicken. He found his courage but it was too late.

Hanbin is his friend too. That is why he doesn’t want to put their friendship at risk just because they love the same man. His heart broke, he faked a smile and happiness when Hanbin told him that he loves Junhoe.

Quick. Hanbin was quick and it turns out that Junhoe loves him too. Sucks.

“Holy shit! This is so funny!” Junhoe laughs so hard which makes him cough.

Bobby realizes he is lost in his regrets. He quickly brings his attention to Junhoe. “Calm down. Why?” He rubs Junhoe’s back gently.

“Look at this Love Museum.”

“Shit!” Bobby joins him in this laughing parade. “This…isn’t what I expected…”

The Love Museum is more like a making love museum. Protruding penises of humans and even cartoon characters, photos of humans fucking and statues of women spreading legs are in the museum. They thought Love Museum would be a romantic one instead of erotic.

“This…uhh…well…love indeed.” Bobby laughs again. “Holy shit…”

“Don’t look.” Junhoe jumps behind him, covers his eyes with his palm. “Don’t look.”

“What am I? 13?” Bobby lets him. _‘Junhoe, I love you…please…don’t marry Hanbin…’_ “Come on, Junhoe.” He holds his hands, slowly pulling them away. He turns to face the man.

“Hyung…” It is Bobby’s turn to close his eyes with his palm. “Bobby hyung…”

Bobby keeps quiet. He takes a closer look at Junhoe’s face. The lips look kissable and God knows how much he wants to kiss those lips. He wants to know how Junhoe’s lips feel like…

But he knows his limit…and he is a coward.

“You are so beautiful even when your eyes are closed.” Bobby turns around, walking ahead. His chest hurts. Junhoe is so close yet unreachable.

Smooth as he always been. Junhoe watches him from the back. Something about Bobby that makes him still hesitates to leave the country to follow Hanbin. They have been friends for so long, even before Hanbin enters into his life. Maybe that’s why he feels heavy about leaving Bobby.

“Hey, wait!”

They reach Banpo Bridge Rainbow Fountain, their last stop for today. The night already greets them which is perfect for them to come to this bridge. They spent the dusk at Namsan Tower, enjoying some refreshments and cool breeze at the top.

“The city looks beautiful at night.”

“But not as beautiful as you.”

Junhoe blushes. “You are so smooth. How come you are not seeing anyone?”

“Because…I love one man only…but I lost him.” Bobby smiles a bit. He takes a sip of his drink.

“Oh…I’m sorry. You never told me about this man. I’m kinda offended since we are friends.” Junhoe tries to lift up the mood. He squeezes his shoulder. “Hey…it’s okay to miss him.”

_‘He’s next to me and I’m missing him everyday…because I could never hold him…’_ “Yea…sorry…nobody knows about this man except Donghyuk maybe. He caught me.” Bobby chuckles. He sighs. “I really love him…I’m devastated. I would never see him anymore…I mean I could never…could never hold him in my arms anymore, suffocate him with kisses and praises.”

“Is that why…why you are…so smooth with me?” Junhoe gives a warm smile.

Bobby nods, laughs a bit to his reply. “I try to fall in love again but I can’t…I can’t get him out of my head…I miss him…and I love him so much.”

“That man is lucky. You are so loyal to him after you have lost him.”

Their conversation is interrupted with the music accompanying the colourful water fountains. They keep silent as they watch the beautiful water fountains.

“I want you to always be happy. Stay with Hanbin happily, love him unconditionally. Take care of each other. Be faithful. Hanbin is my friend you know. I want him to be happy with his man.” Bobby looks at him.

“Sorry. I…” Junhoe chokes with his emotion. He wipes his tears. “You sound like you aren’t coming tomorrow.” Junhoe notices the look on Bobby’s face. “Wait…you really aren’t…coming?”

“I’ll be late.” Of course, Bobby is lying. “Don’t worry. I’m coming.” He caresses Junhoe’s cheek gently. “Don’t cry, my beautiful princess. Tomorrow is the wedding.” He holds his cheeks gently. “Now tell me your last wish.”

“Sing with me. Let’s go for karaoke! Come on!” Junhoe pulls Bobby’s hand.

They laugh together as they run towards the nearest karaoke room. They sing their favourite song and even cry singing it. The three hour session ends with them almost falling asleep in each other’s arms.

“Hey…princess…we cannot sleep here. Let me take you home.”

Junhoe groans, dragging his lazy body into Bobby’s car. He doesn’t remember what happens next as he wakes up on his own bed with Hanbin next to him. He smiles thinking about the time he spent with Bobby today.

 

~~~

 

“I pronounce you married.”

Everyone congratulates them. Junhoe just smiles while his eyes wander around the hall looking for Bobby. He calms himself with a few glasses of wine, reminding that Bobby is coming late.

“Slow down with the wine. You don’t want to pass out on your special day right?” Yunhyeong snatches the glass away from him. “Enough.”

“Alright, hyung. Wait. You must have came here with Donghyuk right?” Junhoe quickly approaches Donghyuk. “Hey Dong…”

“You didn’t know? Hmmm…I thought he would tell you since you hung out with him yesterday.”

“Know what? Tell me what? Donghyuk.” He shakes Donghyuk’s shoulder. Streams of tears already ruin his look today but he doesn’t care. “Where…is Bobby…” He begins to recall their conversation last night.

 

 

“Korean Air Flight KX1237 bound for…”

Bobby checks his passport and boarding pass again. He takes the last look of the Incheon Aiport, bidding goodbye for the memories and friends made here.

“Till we meet again, Junhoe.”

 

 

“You…really…are leaving Korea too huh?” Junhoe sobs. “Why? Why? Why?”

“Hey, to be fair…you are leaving too.” Bobby wipes his tears. “Aigoo look at this princess crying-” Junhoe presses his forehead against Bobby’s shoulder. “Don’t cry…please…” Bobby kisses his head softly. “Stay beautiful and glow tomorrow okay.”

“You are coming right?” Junhoe looks at him nodding but he feels something is off. Part of him is telling him that Bobby won’t be coming but he brushes the thought away. “Please come. I want to bid farewell properly to everyone.”

Bobby doesn’t say anything. He pulls Junhoe into his arms. They stay like that for about five minutes. “Congratulations.”

“You can congratulate me tomorrow.” Junhoe punches his arm playfully. “Ohhh…I think it is going to rain.” He flinches a bit when he hears the thunder.

“Yea…I should get going.” Bobby stops walking. “Before I forget…” He fishes out the velvet box from his pocket. “Tadaa. For you. I want you to wear this tomorrow.”

“It’s pretty.” Junhoe wears the bracelet immediately. “Ju-ne? Oh me?” He chuckles at how slow he is. “Thank you. It’s beautiful. Thank you!” He hugs Bobby tightly.

“Specially for you…you are welcome…” Bobby rubs his back.

They hug. It feels painful to let each other go. Junhoe waves him good night as the elder drives away. He looks at the bracelet again, feeling bad for not having anything to give Bobby but memories.

 

 

Junhoe sighs. He looks at the bracelet again. “You told me not to cry but look…what are you doing? Your flight...I hate you, Bobby..." He whispers.

“Huh. Bobby really didn’t come huh. That liar.” Hanbin scoffs. “Hey babe. Are you alright?” He kisses Junhoe’s head.

“Yes…and no. Bobby hyung really didn’t come. He said he would be late but…ugh he lied.” Junhoe looks at the time.

 

7.30p.m.

 

“Sorry for being weak…I could never tell you that I love you, Koo Junhoe…and I’m sorry…I can’t be at the wedding because…I can’t stand seeing how I lose my loved one. You…I love you so much, Junhoe. Always. Since the first day we met…”

 

“I can’t tell where he goes…I’ve promised him.” Donghyuk feels apologetic but he made a promise. Though he feels in dilemma, he couldn’t ruin the relationship Junhoe has with Hanbin.

Harsh but Donghyuk never intends to tell Junhoe the truth.

 

“Perhaps someday I could laugh and tell Junhoe I was in love with him…someday…”

 

_“Tell me your wish.”_

Junhoe smiles as he touches the bracelet, remembering what Bobby kept saying yesterday. Being the ‘genie’ to him and taking him anywhere he wanted to go. No wonder.

“Since I have unlimited wish…I wish to see you again…” Junhoe looks at the stars on the clear sky. He keeps touching the bracelet. “I already miss you…”

“I wish to see you, Junhoe…but not now. My heart couldn’t take it. Live happily with Hanbin alright…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where is he?"
> 
> "Here is right here but he is out of my reach..."

Junhoe unpacks the last box. Finally. He sits on the floor while taking his things out one by one till he stumbles upon a photo and a letter. He smiles.

It is a photo of him and Hanbin attached together to a letter. Hanbin is old school style, confessed his love through a letter but he found that romantic.

How he met Hanbin?

 

 

“Wait! Wait! Wait!”

“Oh alright.” Hanbin presses the button to hold the door.

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome. You don’t have to run, you know…” Hanbin looks at the man who is drenched in sweat, catching his breath.

“I know…but…I was…running…fuhhh…wait a second.” Junhoe inhales as deeply as he can then exhales slowly. “I was running from a creep.”

“A creep?”

Junhoe nods. “Damn it. How am I supposed to go home like this? He has been wandering at the parking lot for 20 minutes already.”

Hanbin smiles. “That’s alright. Let me accompany you to your car.” He exits the elevator. “Are you coming or not?”

Junhoe knows he has no choice. Plus this man seems nice although it is too quick for him to think so. He agrees to let Hanbin to accompany him. He immediately sits at the passenger’s seat. Neat, he is impressed. Hanbin says nothing as he drives down to where Junhoe parked his car.

“Oh man…the creep…what the hell he is jerking off!”

“Wow…you know what, let me drive you home.”

“No. No. It’s okay. Just uhhh…leave me…at the sub…way…”

Hanbin chuckles. “Let me guess. You don’t know how to ride the subway or the bus. Am I right? Come on. Let me take you home.”

Junhoe sighs in defeat. The man looks harmless, he hopes. “Thank you…and oh…I’m Koo Junhoe.”

“Kim Hanbin.”

That was definitely not their first and last meeting, especially how Hanbin is also friends with his best friend, Bobby. They often hang out at parties as Hanbin would be the sober one to drive both Junhoe and Bobby home.

They became close. The best trio, also the dumb, dumber and dumbest trio as what Junhoe’s sister described.

What Bobby did not realize, Hanbin and Junhoe started to see each other behind his back. When he realized, it was too late. Imagine walking into the room to see your best friends cuddling on the bed with no strings attached.

“Shit…” Bobby’s hands are shaking. He tries to hold back his tears but he couldn’t. Slowly, he shuts the door. His heart aches. Part of him wishes he did not see them and part of him wishes the two of them did a mistake. Drunk.

But imagine still being in denial when Hanbin did tell him a few weeks ago.

“How do I confess to Junhoe?”

“Sorry? Junhoe?” Bobby looks at him.

Hanbin called telling there is an emergency. It turns out that THIS is the emergency. His feelings for Junhoe is the emergency.

“I fell in love with Junhoe. Man. He is so cute. He acts tough when he is like a baby. Big baby.” Hanbin smiles widely with his mind is thinking about Junhoe.

“Ohhh….”

“I…I like Hanbin. I think I’ve fallen in love…oh no. Help me.” Junhoe pouts. “I try not to make it obvious but ugh I can’t help it. He is so reliable…strong…beautiful. He makes me feel so loved with his words. He knows…he wrote a song for me you know…and I wrote a poem for him.”

“Ohhh…”

That was the only thing Bobby could answer. _“Ohhh.”_ He is too heartbroken. He cries whenever he thinks about it. He wanted to ignore Junhoe or Hanbin but he couldn’t, especially how they are friends.

_“Everything is too late…too late, Dong. I’m…they are in love…great. I could confess to Junhoe but it would be one-sided. At least Hanbin’s love is returned. I should be happy for them.”_

_“Are you…really happy?”_

_“What do you want me to do, Dong? Break their relationship? I can’t hurt Junhoe and Hanbin like this.” Bobby sighs. He has no tears left to cry. He is tired of crying as he watches his friends together._

“Help me. How to confess to Junhoe in the most romantic way?” Hanbin looks at him. “I could write a song but aghh…I want it to be more…”

“Write a letter. Like a love letter. Tell him how you feel.” Bobby then takes his notepad and pen. “To my dearest Koo Junhoe…”

 

_“To my dearest Koo Junhoe…_

_If you reading this, it means I am too shy to say these to your face and I’m probably hiding now. It also means that I’m deeply in love with you, my tongue is tied and my lips are sealed whenever I want to say this word to you._

_Yes Junhoe. I love you. I love you so much. From the moment I saw you running towards the elevator, heck, you are the cutest. Clumsy but cute. Loud but cute. Tough but cute. An actual softie who cries watching romantic or sad movies, I just want to keep you in my arms forever._

_And I hope you feel the same way too. Your subtle flirt tickles my heart. Your not-so-subtle stares at me is funny but cute. Cute because of how you panicked when I catch you._

_I really love you Junhoe. The time spent with you, I cherish every single second and so, I would like to spend the rest of time with you close to me. Your presence, your laugh, your smile, make me happy and I want to be the one to make you happy. I promise not to make you cry and if you cry, I want to be the one to comfort you._

_I love you, Koo Junhoe and this is my confession._

_Kim Hanbin.”_

 

“Wow, Bobby…that is beautiful…” Hanbin reads the letter again.

“Thanks. Uhh you can edit and add your own words.”

“No. No. I think this is perfect. Thanks man! Really…you are the best.” He chuckles.

And with that letter, Junhoe confessed to Hanbin too, returning his love. The day Junhoe and Hanbin told him was the most painful day for him. But what is the use of crying?

 

Present.

 

“I found your letter.” Junhoe glances at Hanbin.

“Ohh…” Hanbin sits next to him. “I was too nervous.” He smiles. “Damn I’m so in love with you.” He rests his head on his lap.

“Really? Really?” Junhoe laughs. He leans for a kiss.

“Really.” Hanbin touches his neck as they kiss.

“How did you come up with this idea? I mean the letter. The surprise letter, the cologne on my table and the sketch book that I’ve been eyeing.”

_‘It was Bobby hyung’s idea.’_ “Well…”

“Oh wait…my phone.” Junhoe looks at the ID. “Yunhyeong hyung!” He slides to answer.

 

_♪~I’m gonna miss your presence for all my life_   
_Just fall into a deep sleep in my arms_   
_I'm looking up at the cruelly beautiful evening sky_   
_Tears are coming cuz it’s the last time_   
_I'm seeing you, please~♪_

 

Bobby pushes his headphone down his neck as the airplane begins to land. He looks outside the window. Seoul. Welcome back.

He comes back for Yunhyeong’s sister’s wedding. It’s been 2 years since he left Korea, left all his memories behind. He thought.

There’s no way he could forget Junhoe so easily. He tried to date, went for blind dates, agreed to become someone’s boyfriend but nothing last long. The longest was 3 months and he was proud of it. He can’t help but to compare everyone he met with Junhoe.

He reaches the ballroom in white suit and unbuttoned shirt with a scarf around his wrist. He pushes his hair up, showing off his forehead which he also accessorizes with only a pair of glasses and eyebrow piercing.

“Hyung!”

He turns to look at the man calling him. “Donghyuk. Hi.”

Donghyuk pulls him for a hug. “Hyung. Long time no see.”

Bobby hugs him back. “Yea…long time.” He envies Donghyuk’s happy smile which always shines brightly. Match made in heaven for him and Yunhyeong.

“I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Ya…I thought…at least I should make an effort to come to Eunjin’s wedding.” Bobby smiles a bit. He takes a glass of champagne from the waiter. “Cheers.”

Donghyuk then excuses himself, leaving him alone at the ballroom. He glances around, hoping to see any familiar faces at this event. He hates being alone. It feels awkward.

“Bobby? Hey. Bobby! It really is you!”

“Hanbin…Junhoe…” Bobby gulps. Junhoe, looking beautiful as ever. He is glowing. He must be living happily now. He hugs the two of them. Of course, he wishes he could hug Junhoe longer.

He wishes.

“We didn’t know you are coming especially how you didn’t even show up on our wedding.” Hanbin pretends to get angry. “But thanks for the lovely sweater and whiskey bottle.” He smiles again.

“Yes. Thanks. You know me so well. I’ve been wanting to get that whiskey but it was too expensive.”

Junhoe sounds so happy which softens his heart. He looks at the man. “I know…plus you told me you have been wanting to get that whiskey. A gift for you.”

“But that doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you for not coming.” Junhoe pouts. “Late. Pfftt.”

“Babe. You are still mad? Really mad?” Hanbin squeezes his shoulder. He gives a soft kiss on his lips. “Want something to drink?”

“Sure.” Junhoe kisses him back. “And yes…still mad.” He folds his arms.

They watch Hanbin disappears to take some drinks.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby says softly. _‘I didn’t come because I couldn’t see…the love of my life officially become part of my own friend’s world…’_ “Please don’t be mad. I…I forgot the flight was earlier.”

“You sure have prepared your excuse.” Junhoe rolls his eyes. “Really, Bobby hyung…why? We spent our day together and then…you…lied. You never showed up. Why?”

_‘Because I’m in love with you.’_

“I told you. I really didn’t realize…really forgot about my flight.”

“And you didn’t even call?”

Junhoe is sulking. Honestly, the cutest face he is showing right now. Bobby wishes he could just squeeze those cheeks and tell him that he is the cutest right now.

He wishes.

“I’m sorry okay…I’m really, really sorry. I feel so awful. I called when I settled down right and it was hard to even contact you or Hanbin.” Bobby reaches for his hand, holding it tightly. “You still wear the bracelet.”

“Uh? Oh…of course. It’s something which reminds me of you…besides our photos.” Junhoe holds his hand, feeling the warmth which he misses. “It’s really beautiful…and it fits. How?”

“I’m Bobby. Come on.” He chuckles. “We have been friends since…forever. My clothes are your clothes. We slept…well…sleeping together on the same bed. I may or may have not measure your wrist while you were sleeping.”

“What else you did when I was sleeping?”

 

 

“Wait. Junhoe!” Hanbin looks confused seeing Junhoe storms out of the ballroom. He sees Bobby stands alone looking defeated. What happened? He decides to chase Junhoe.

Junhoe locks himself in the toilet. He hears footsteps.

“Junhoe…are you in here? Babe please. I can see your shoes.” Hanbin knocks the door. “Babe…”

“I’m okay…uhh…nauseous. I had too much drink.”

“You need to work better with your lies babe.” Hanbin leans against the wall. “I’m not leaving until you open this door or I’d kick.”

Junhoe sighs. “Fine. Fine.” He unlocks the door, quickly grabbing Hanbin who has been leaning against it. “Sorry.”

“Look. What happened?” Hanbin touches his cheeks. “Hmmm. Tell me.”

“Have you ever been in love with someone else but…you missed your opportunity? One sided love?”

Hanbin is surprised but he smiles. “Yes. I have…but I moved on. No point holding the end of the stick if the water flows quick.” He looks at him. “Hey…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. That is just rhetorical question.” Junhoe tries to smile. He kisses Hanbin’s lips softly.

“Then why did you run? You were talking with Bobby hyung earlier.” Hanbin scoffs. “Wait…wait…did Bobby hyung ask this question?”

“No. I told you it was just a rhetorical question.” Junhoe sighs. He checks himself in the mirror once again. “Let’s go back to the ballroom.”

“Not until you tell me the truth.”

“I have nothing to tell you alright. Please Hanbin. Let’s go.”

Hanbin wants to pressure Junhoe more but he reckons he should do it later. He doesn’t want to fight Junhoe at someone else’s event. He nods as he follows Junhoe back to the ballroom.

Junhoe only speaks when he is needed. He couldn’t keep a straight face. He glances around trying to look for Bobby but he doesn’t seem to find him.

“Bobby hyung went home already.” Donghyuk whispers.

“Ohh…” Junhoe looks at his bracelet.

 

~~~~~~~

 

“What else you did when I was sleeping?”

“I admired you close…I imagined how does it feel like if I could pull you in my arms, smolder you with kisses…I want you to be the first and last person I’d look when I wake up and sleep.” Bobby holds his hand tightly. He touches each knuckles, playing with his fingers.

“What…else…” Junhoe loves the touch. He lets Bobby continues.

“I sneakily…kissed your forehead. Listening to your mumbles when you slept. Ran my fingers through your hair. Singing your favourite song when I noticed…you had nightmare.” Bobby looks down, hiding his tears.

“Hyung…” Junhoe cups his face. “Don’t cry…”

“Sorry…I…” Bobby wipes his tears. “I miss that someone so much. I still couldn’t move on. It is so hard. I love him. I imagined you…are that man I’ve always loved.” He lies. He hopes Junhoe bites the bait.

“Ohhh…” Junhoe keeps quiet for a moment. “You imagined? So where is the man? Where is he? How could you lose him?”

“He is right here but he is out of my reach. I lost him…because I wasn’t quick enough to tell him that I love him so much. He is happy now with someone else. I can’t risk that.” Bobby’s voice is shaking trying to hold his tears. “I would find my own happiness…”

Junhoe looks deeply into Bobby’s sorrowful eyes. His hunch was right all along. Bobby loves and still loves him. He has so much thoughts, so much questions in his head now.

“I…gotta go.” Junhoe quickly leaves the ballroom, ignoring Hanbin who keeps calling him. He doesn’t know where to start. Why does his heart ache now listening to Bobby’s words?

Bobby stands still, calming himself. Was that the right move? He wants to tell Junhoe he didn’t mean any of it but he knows he couldn’t because he really meant it. Every single words.

 

~~~~~~

 

9.30 p.m.

 

Bobby reaches his room which he rented for his stay here. He decides to leave first flight tomorrow. He can’t stay here longer. Meeting Junhoe again is not helping, is not doing any good.

Meeting Junhoe is a reminder that he lost to Hanbin. Sure, it is not a competition with trophy Junhoe for the winner but he can’t see Junhoe any longer especially when he couldn’t hold Junhoe close to him.

“I want to rest.” Junhoe climbs onto the bed only removing his shoes.

Hanbin says nothing. He just nods then makes his way to the bathroom. He really wants to know what Junhoe talked with Bobby but seeing how Junhoe is still not responsive, he plans to try to talk again tomorrow. 

_‘He is right here but he is out of my reach…’_

Junhoe sighs. Why do Bobby’s words affect him this much? He should be happy with Hanbin now. He loves Hanbin and Hanbin loves him too. Things happened right? Someone could have fallen for Hanbin too.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hanbin rubs his arm gently, pulling the man to his chest. “Clear your mind. Sleep.” He plants a soft kiss on his shoulder.

“Ya…ya you are right. I should clear my mind…” Junhoe finally speaks. He lets Hanbin’s arm wrapped around his waist.

 

~~~~~~

 

“Bobby hyung…hyung. Bobby hyung…Kim Jiwon.” Junhoe shakes his body.

Bobby groans. “Uhhh why…what’s wrong?” He yawns. “Jesus. It’s 3 in the morning, Junhoe.” He sees Junhoe is pouting. What a baby.

They spend the night together after Junhoe almost passed out drunk at the bar. Thankfully, Bobby knows his limit.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Who told you to drink so much?” Bobby teases. “Oh God. Stop pouting. Ahhh that’s unfair, Junhoe.”

“Sing me to sleep.” Junhoe crawls next to him. “Please…”

“How can I say no to you?”

Junhoe giggles, feeling the warmth being in Bobby’s embrace. Their size difference doesn’t hinder them to cuddle with Bobby being the bigger spoon. Junhoe falls asleep in no time.

“What a baby…I love you…” Bobby kisses his head.

 

~~~~~~

 

Hanbin sits on the bed whilst Junhoe is still sleeping but crying and sleeps talking. Annoyed, maybe. All he hears is Junhoe saying Bobby’s name. Not surprised if Junhoe has feelings for Bobby even without him realizing since the two of them knew each other longer.

“Do you love me?” Hanbin whispers. “Do you…ever…do you have some feelings for Bobby hyung?”

The letter.

It was something he would have confessed to Junhoe but it was Bobby who wrote the letter. He laughs. How foolish that he just realizes it now. It was Bobby’s true feelings for Junhoe.

Junhoe is awake. He notices Hanbin is sitting on the couch. “Hi…good morning…”

“It’s 5 a.m. Junhoe…still early. Go back to sleep.” Hanbin glances at him. _‘And dream of your Bobby hyung again.’_

“Don’t you want to sleep too?”

“Ya. Sure.” Hanbin smiles a bit. So Junhoe doesn’t realize he sleeps talk. No one ever told him? “You are so cute when you sleep talk.”

“Uh? Is that why you couldn’t sleep? I must have mumbled a lot. Sorry.” Junhoe pulls his blanket higher. He hopes he didn’t say anything odd.

Like saying Bobby’s name.

_‘I can’t sleep because of you…stop saying his name.’_ “I guess.” Hanbin smiles a bit. “Good…mornight.”

“Good morninght.” Junhoe chuckles. He hugs the pillow tightly.

 

~~~~~~~

 

“Hold me tight!” Bobby glances at him.

“Slow down!” Junhoe hugs his waist, pressing his body against his back. He peeks at the speedometer. “Kim Jiwon! What the hell! Slow down!”

“Oh come on. This motorbike is meant for such speed.”

“Hyung.” Junhoe hits his back once they are at the red light. “Fine but not too fast please. I felt like I could fall.”

“Just hold me tight.” Bobby pulls his hand, rubbing it gently. “Trust me.” He smiles although Junhoe couldn’t see it under the helmet. “Let’s go!”

Junhoe rests his head against Bobby’s back, enjoying the wind and the ride. It feels nice to escape the concrete jungle to get some fresh air somewhere far from the city. He shuts his eyes.

 

 

“I miss you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of junbin and more angst. idk. hehe


	3. Chapter 3

Bobby sits on the bed, just staring at his breakfast. He cancels his plan to go back the first thing in the morning. Maybe he wants to see Junhoe again.

Wait. He doesn’t even know how to find Junhoe and what should he say to Junhoe? Tell him that he didn’t mean anything? That it was pure rhetorical question? Should he really convince Junhoe that his ‘man’ really exists?

He sighs, not knowing what to do.

By now, maybe Junhoe would have guessed that Bobby loves him and still loves him. He starts to regret. He should not have suggested such thoughts to Junhoe’s mind. What about Hanbin?

 

“Do you love me?”

Junhoe raises his eyebrow. “Hanbin…of course. I do love you. Why you asked? You’ve never asked…as far as I could recall.”

“Well I thought after some time…why not? Just to tease you.” Hanbin smiles at him.

The two of them are having lunch together. Hanbin pretends nothing happened. Junhoe has not said anything either about what happened last night at the ballroom and about Bobby.

The letter.

The confession on the letter is haunting Hanbin. Every words was sincere, was Bobby’s true feelings. No wonder it felt real. He feels like a fool now. He should have written another one. He should have just gone to Junhoe to confess.

_Cling!!!_

“Sorry.” Hanbin picks up his spoon from the floor.

“Is there something bothering you?” Junhoe puts his chopstick down. “You look…distracted. You are physically here but your mind is somewhere else. Are you alright?”

“Ya. I’m alright.”

“Lie again.” Junhoe leans against the chair. “Seriously, Hanbin. Tell me…” He touches his hand, rubbing his thumb so soothe him. He waits for Hanbin to say something. “Okay. We’ll talk after we finish our meal.”

“Bobby hyung…how long have you known Bobby hyung?”

“You never asked.” Junhoe looks at him. Of course, he wants to know what Bobby and him talked about last night. “Since I was 15…he was 17 then.”

“That long…” Hanbin begins to wonder how long Bobby starts to like Junhoe. Probably since day 1 but too coward to admit and now can’t leave Junhoe alone with him. Still hasn’t given up on Junhoe, it seems.

“Bobby hyung…”

“Loves you.” Hanbin turns to face him. “He loves you. I should have guessed earlier.” He gives a bitter smile.

“No, Hanbin…he…” Junhoe recalls his conversation with Bobby last night. “He loves someone but he lost…he…”

“Do you love him? Please don’t answer as a friend.”

“No…”

“Not even a bit? Does your heart…ever beat so loudly when he is around? Have you ever feel nervous…butterflies in your stomach-”

“Have you?” Junhoe gets up. “What about you? Have you ever looked at someone and feel the same way too?”

“Please don’t make this about me now.” Hanbin scoffs. “This is about Bobby hyung-”

“FINE. YES. I’ve felt that way when I look at Bobby hyung…when he is around me. He makes me feel loved…happy…he is truly the best friend I could ever ask.” Junhoe’s voice is shaking as he holds back his tears. “I love him…”

“More than just a friend?”

“No…” Junhoe’s heart aches. “Because I love you more.”

 

~~~

 

“You should not take hasty decision, Kim Hanbin.”

Hanbin just looks at Bobby without saying anything. They had finished talking about everything. The truth. Junhoe. Everything, including Hanbin’s decision to take a break from Junhoe.

“Why do you care about me so much? Go. Go back to Junhoe. Love him…remind him who you are, shower him with more love so he could forget about me.” Bobby gulps. He finds it hard to say those words.

“You should also forget about him. I love Junhoe too, you know. I love him so much. I don’t want us…our friendship to ruin.” Hanbin looks at him. “You can still be friends with Junhoe…”

“But?”

Hanbin smiles. Yes, there is a but. “But…forget about him. Forget about how you feel about him. Love someone else but him. How could you stay friends if you keep loving him…and especially how I knew it already. It took me a while.” He chuckles.

Forget about Junhoe? Get rid of his feelings? How?

“You are right.” Bobby forces a smile. He takes a sip of his drink. It tastes like sand. “I…how is Junhoe? Can I see him…before I go back?”

“You are not running away with him right?” Hanbin tries to joke. It feels uncomfortable in this tense atmosphere.

“I won’t…don’t worry.”

“Of course I’m worried.”

And they are back to being tensed. They could only hear the music in this cafe and soft chatters of the customers coming in and out. Bobby quickly sips his drink.

“It would be hard for me to forget about Junhoe. God…I’ve loved him for so long.” Bobby smiles thinking about Junhoe. “It’s been 2 years…since you two got together but I couldn’t stop loving him.”

“This is my request, hyung. As a friend…please forget about him. Stop loving him. I don’t want us…to hate each other.” Hanbin pleads. “Please hyung…”

Bobby keeps quiet. It sounds easy. Believe him, he has tried. Maybe not hard enough.

“You should seek your own happiness too.”

 

~~~ 

 

Junhoe feels nervous meeting Bobby. He makes his way to the port where Bobby told him to meet at.

“Hey…”

“Oh hey. Junhoe.” Bobby wishes he could just hug Junhoe right now. “Oh wait. My shirt.”

“You act like I’ve never seen you without your shirt before huh.” Junhoe chuckles. “I’ve even seen you naked.” He gets onto the boat with Bobby’s help.

Bobby laughs with him. “Ya…that is true. Hmmm…I didn’t expect you’d actually come.”

“Well…Hanbin knew how much I’ve missed you so ya…he said go so here I am.” Junhoe smiles. “I could need some time off…remember…you always have plans every month so we could just escape from the city.”

“You still remember…”

“Of course. It feels really good…after we are so cooped up at the office then we take some time on weekend for such trips. It was nice.” Junhoe reminisces his time spent with Bobby on weekends.

“And since we are together here…already taking our days off for Eunjin’s wedding, might as well we spend it well.” Bobby puts his sunglasses on. “Ready?”

For a second, Junhoe feels weak on his knees when he looks at topless Bobby in short pants with his long, wavy hair pushed back and him in sunglasses. Bobby still maintain his body which Junhoe sometimes would touch when the man is naked.

“Yes…I’m ready. Take me anywhere!”

Bobby could pretty much do a lot of things, including manoeuvre this boat but except moving on from loving Junhoe. He is still unable to do so.

“Why are you staring at me?” Junhoe blushes. The same way when Bobby used to stare at him and when he caught him, his face would turn red.

“I love your beautiful face…your smile…you.”

“Cheesy.” Junhoe avoids his gaze. “Really? You mean it?”

“Babe…ahhh I mean Junhoe. Shit. Junhoe. Junhoe.” Bobby laughs. “Junhoe. Yes I mean it. Every words…”

“Every words?”

Bobby nods. “I may not…be with the special person or have him in my arms but let me cherish this moment with you…here…”

“Let me be the person you love.”

“But can I kiss you?”

Junhoe looks into Bobby’s eyes. Their lips are sealed but to each other’s lips. Junhoe knows it is wrong but he doesn’t even protest and it is such a quick kiss.

“Sorry. I should have not done that.” Bobby wipes his lips. “Hanbin gonna murder me for sure.”

“Murder us.” Junhoe laughs a bit. He touches his lips. “This is our dirty little secret huh?”

“I guess. Our dirty little secret.” Bobby looks at him. God please. Why you have to create someone so beautiful like Junhoe?

Someone who is as beautiful as Junhoe, funny, amazing, dork sometimes, adorable little baby who loves attention but Bobby could not reach him. Even if he could, he could never hold Junhoe close to him, tight in his arms.

 

_Let him go, Bobby. Forget about him. Find your own happiness instead of clinging at the edge of something uncertain._

 

“Are you okay?” Junhoe touches his shoulder.

“Ya…I’m okay.” Bobby smiles at him.

They stop on an island with population only about 100 people. Bobby had asked permission to camp at the beach.

“Hmmm...laying under the stars. Kinda want to do that.”

Bobby smiles at his remark. “Me too. Enjoying the view…counting the stars…feel the cool breeze.”

They set up camp fire after arguing for 10 minutes straight. Apparently none of them is good at this. They argued for 10 minutes because they failed to create even a spark on the wood. In the end, a nice old uncle who is also the head of the village decided to help them.

“Aigoo you youngsters won’t survive in the woods.”

Bobby and Junhoe just grin at the side. The head of the village asks if they need anything else which both of them say no.

“You know where to find me.” He walks away.

“Thanks for the fire.” Bobby bows. “Well, we have fire now.”

“Ya. Thanks to the old man.” Junhoe chuckles. “Or else we’d die freezing.”

 _‘Or we can hug to keep each other warm.’_ “Right then we can’t experience the night.” Bobby glances at him. “Anyway…I bought eels since you love it… canned foods…marshmellow? When did I pack this?” He looks inside the box. “Beers…and oh I bought pork.”

“Wow. You are well prepared.” Junhoe looks at the things Bobby brought along. “I only bring mosquito repellent.”

“That’s good enough.” Bobby chuckles.

With their poor cooking skills, they try their best to grill the eels and pork. Bobby even brings barbeque sauce and some kimchi. They talk about a lot of things, catching up the past two years they did not meet.

“Alright. Truth.”

Junhoe looks at him. “When did you start…liking me?”

Bobby knows Junhoe would ask him this. “Since…you needed my help with the assignment in high school. Gosh. You were sleeping, actually. You whined the whole day because Mrs Kwon misplaced your work then you had to re-do. You were so pissed.” He chuckles.

“Ah yes I remember. Well of course I was pissed.” Junhoe recalls that moment. “Then Mrs Kwon introduced me to you…” He pauses. It means Bobby actually likes him from the first day…It was love at first sight and Bobby keeps this for so long?

“Ya. She said my work was so good and I should guide you. Then when I saw you, I was like…no way. This is THE Koo Junhoe that shakes even the senior’s hearts?” Bobby chuckles. He then notices Junhoe’s tears. “Did I say…something…”

“Idiot.” Junhoe punches his arm. “Idiot. You have liked me that long?” Bobby keeps quiet. He slowly nods. “And you never told me?”

“I don’t want to push…” Bobby pauses. “Do you ever….liked…me?”

Junhoe nods slowly. “There was that time…we got accepted to different university right? That was when…I realized that I like you. A lot. Your absence gave so much impact. I felt empty without you. That’s why I worked hard to transfer to the same place.” He chuckles a bit.

“Ohh…” Bobby feels a sharp pain in his chest. How stupid he is. “But it is in the past now. You…fell in love…you are Hanbin’s.”

“Ya…I got tired of waiting.” Junhoe wipes his tears. “Kinda my fault. I thought you would get the hint but you didn’t…I really thought it was one sided…so I gave up.”

“And Hanbin entered into your life.”

Bobby looks at the meat he is grilling. Smells nice but he has no appetite now. Regrets, all he could feel now is regret but it is too late, right, Bobby?

“Yes. Hanbin entered into my life. He showers me with love…lots of love.” Junhoe smiles happily. “I feel blessed meeting him.”

“So stay with him forever, alright. Love him always. Take care of him. Please live happily.”

“You too, hyung…live happily. You deserve it.” Junhoe holds his hand tightly. “You deserve to be happy…you should live happily.”

Bobby knows Junhoe wants him to forget the past, forget about him, forget about the feelings he developed but never had the chance to express until it was already too late.

Maybe they are right. He should live happily and find his own happiness.

 

~~~

 

“I told you I won’t run away with your Junhoe.”

Hanbin says nothing for a second. He wonders what had happened during their one night trip. Bobby looks relieved. “I know.” He smiles.

“We should really do this again when we meet next time.” Junhoe looks at him. But he knows there won’t be any next time. He feels like he won’t see Bobby at all after this.

“Ya. We should and uh Hanbin should join us.” Next time? Bobby laughs inside. “Well…I gotta go catch up my flight.”

“You are leaving already?”

Bobby looks into Junhoe’s pleading eyes. No, Junhoe. Don’t do this. “Ya. I uhhh…I only came for this wedding…and because of Donghyuk. Ya. The boy…kept bothering me, reminding me.” He chuckles.

“Alright. We should keep in touch.”

“Ya, we should, Junhoe…” Bobby then looks at Hanbin. “And you too. Well…I have to go now. Take care.”

“You too, hyung. Take care. Remember what I told you.” Hanbin hugs him.

“I love you and take care. Don’t disappear.” Junhoe hugs him tightly.

They hug, perhaps a little too long that Hanbin clears his throat as a signal. Bobby gives an awkward laugh as he and Junhoe parts from each other’s embrace.

“I love you too…” Bobby whispers but loud for both Hanbin and Junhoe to hear.

With heavy steps, Bobby slowly makes his way to his rented motorcycle. He takes a last look at the couple. They seem really happy together. They are his best friends. He can’t ruin friendship like this. If they are happy, then he should be happy for them.

After all, they are not wrong.

Find your own happiness, Bobby.

“What did you tell him?” Junhoe looks at Hanbin.

Hanbin rubs his head. “I know you’d be curious. I told him…to be happy.” He looks at him. “So what happened during the trip?”

Junhoe tells him briefly, of course, minus the forbidden kiss. That should be his dirty little secret with Bobby.

“I told him to be happy too. That is my wish…”

To let Junhoe go, to move on properly this time, to let the past and regret go, these may seem difficult for Bobby. He knows he would still take time but they are right. He should live happily.

He will seek and achieve his own happiness.

He prays for the best for Junhoe and Hanbin.

Be happy, is Junhoe’s last wish before they parted. Be happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to update. here's a crappy ending.


End file.
